at the end of the tour
when the road disappears
if there's any more people around
when the tour runs aground
and if you're still around
then we'll meet at the end of the tour
the engagements are booked through the end of the world
so we'll meet at the end of the tour
and we're never gonna tour again
no, we're never gonna tour again
- They Might Be Giants, "The End of the Tour"
"2004: The Year in Review"
I'm not gonna lie. I've been writing up a storm today, and I'm getting kinda punchy. Let's blow through this thing...
1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
I submitted a piece for publication. I applied for a big boy's job. I also did one really cool thing that I'm not allowed to talk about, and another that I just don't want to talk about.
Still no sex.
2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I checked, and apparantly, at the start of 2004, I resolved "to be less distant and socially awkward," "try to be ruled less by fear," "dial down the Spider-Man obsession," but at the same time, see Spider-Man 2in theaters more times than Kate Jeffries saw Titanic, making sure to "calculate for time and make up the difference" since Titantic's a longer movie and really "put that curly-haired Texan in her place for sure."
Why I didn't just resolve to be less of a weirdo fucking spaz monkey, I'll never understand.
I'm gonna say I failed at everything but the last bit, because I saw Spider-Man 2 eight times, and Kate lives in DC now. She's clearly been put in her place.
This year, I'm resolving to stick to a steady exercise routine, and write at least 300 words a day, as suggested by Anne Lamont in Bird by Bird: Instructions on Writing and Life. On a good day, I can write three times that easily, but on those bad days, 300 words is enough to be a real effort without killing you. The main thing is to get into the mind set that I've got to commit words to the page everyday, and stop slacking off watching reruns of Yes, Dear or King of the Hill (except in the case that I'm doing research for that essay about how King of the Hill can save America).
Oh, and I'm also resolved to be less of a weirdo fucking spaz monkey.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Does Superman count?
5. What countries did you visit?
Does Flavor Country count?
6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
Gainful employment and a place of my own. And I'd really like to have a beard. If I can either have one or the other, I'd rather have the beard.
No wait. Let me take that back. If I was gainfully employed, I could just buy a beard, couldn't I? (Why did I throw away that bag of hair?) It's not too late to change my answer, is it? It is? Fuck.
7. What date(s) from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
For a history minor, I'm not particularly milestone-minded. I'd say Graduation Day, but let's face it. I spent another six months in Columbia pretending like it never happened. That being said...
The night of February 11th was probably the loveliest evening of my life.
The events of May 6th through May 22nd constituted the one truly bizarre fortnight.
And of course, I finally left Columbia, Missouri, forever on November 20th. (A week later, I ate at the Wendy's on Clark Lane.)
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I applied for a customer service job at Marvel Comics and they asked me to answer the same question in a cover letter, and I claimed it was graduating, but honestly, it wasn't that hard. And if I could take it back, I'm not completely convinced that I wouldn't.
I thought Tobey & Clark was pretty cool.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I never finished Scenes from the Next... My first submission to Marvel Comics was rejected twice... I let myself get hosed... And it took me six months to get out of Columbia... I never spent $100 in one trip to Rock Bottom Comics like I always said I would...
My biggest failure of 2004?
I didn't leave on Tuesday.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I really banged my leg up bad one night, but I really should have broken something considering how drunk and stupid I was.
Can I just say how pleased I am with myself that I didn't go right for the "Does a broken heart count?" gag. Good for me, right? What? I blew it by even mentioning it at all? Fuck.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
This is a tough one. That bottle of cheap Scotch I bought sure made life interesting for a while, there. And Justice League: Secret Files 2004 kind of quietly blew me away.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
B. A. Jones. Am I proud of the myriad accomplishments of all of my friends? You bet your damn ass I am. But all of those accomplishments have already been celebrated by others. The quiet life of Brent Jones is a different matter entirely. Brent's my unsung hero, but I'm singing now. And the song goes Fell in love again, don't know what I'm gonna tell my friends...
(Uh, that's an inside joke... not me coming out of the closet... Not that there's anything wrong with that... or that it could never happen...)
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Ladies, I have to say, you disappointed me. Some of you downright crushed me. And none of you jumped on board the farewell fornication initiative... sheesh.
And of course, this is the year I fell out of love with Brian Michael Bendis.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Rock Bottom Comics.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Spider-Man 2. And I've reached a point where I just can't shut up about Hobie Brown. I'm warped.
16. What songs will always remind you of 2004?
All right, kids. Wanna hear it? Here it goes... In no particular order:
"Fish & Bird" ~ Tom Waits
"Hurt" ~ Johnny Cash ~
"Wait Up" ~ Uncle Tupelo
"Upward Over the Mountain" ~ Iron and Wine
"A Wolf at the Door" ~ Radiohead
"Good Woman" ~ Cat Power
"Dirty Man" ~ Joss Stone
"Hey Ya" ~ OutKast
"Under Control" ~ The Strokes
"Waltz #2" ~ Sam Phillips
"Row" ~ Jon Brion
"(Was I) In Your Dreams" ~ Wilco
"Melissa" ~ The Allman Brothers
"Lacrimosa" ~ Artist Unknown
"You're So True" ~ Jospeh Arthur
"Let Go" ~ Frou Frou
"Fight Test" ~ The Flaming Lips
"Ring Out the Bell" ~ Travis
"Ambulance" ~ TV on the Radio
"Via Chicago" ~ Wilco
"Amateur" ~ Aimee Mann
"L'area" ~ Ennio Morricone
"Space Oddity" ~ David Bowie
"Winter" ~ Josh Radin
"Hold On" ~ Jet
"I Can Hear You" ~ They Might Be Giants
"Firestarter" ~ Jimmy Eat World
"About Her" ~ Malcolm McLaren
"Somewhere Only We Know" ~ Keane
"Alfie" ~ Burt Bacharach
"Nothing is Good Enough" ~ Aimee Mann
"You Can Still Ruin My Day" ~ Jon Brion
"Learn to Live with What You Are" ~ Ben Folds
"Common People" ~ William Shatner
"Theologians" (Tobey & Clark opening remix) ~ Wilco
"Life on Mars?"~ David Bowie
"Vienna" ~ Billy Joel
"The Only Living Boy in New York" ~ Simon & Garfunkel
"Revv Me Up" ~ Jasper McVain
"Margaritaville" ~ Jimmy Buffet
"Nothing Better" ~ The Postal Service
"Such Great Heights" ~ Iron and Wine
"Look Away" ~ Nick DeMayo
"Wicked Little Town (Tommy Gnosis Version)" ~ The Bens
"Knock Yourself Out" ~ Jon Brion
"Dark Was the Night, Cold was the Ground" ~ Blind Willie Johnson
"Starman" ~ David Bowie
"Another Man Done Gone" ~ Billy Bragg and Wilco
"I'll Take You New York" ~ Tom Waits
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?
A little sadder. I was on the cusp of failure this time last year. Now I'm just a failure.
ii. richer or poorer?
Poorer. I don't know how it's possible, but I'm poorer!
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I wish I'd written more. I really just love writing. I spent too much time writing complaints about writing, when I should have just been writing.
I wish I'd stayed. I wish I'd done a lot of things...
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Drinking alone sounds like the socially responsible response, but fuck it. It's fun, and most of my drinking buddies skipped town.
I wish I'd wasted less.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent Christmas Eve at Baptist services with my Grandmother, plotting out stories in my head while it was explained to me that Jesus must be Lord because we mark the calendar by his birth.
This was hell for a Catholic. Like, literally. You miss Midnight Mass, you might as well FedEx your ass to hell. Plus, at St. Regis in KC, they always let this old guy do a solo, and he's just terrible and my entire family spends the five minutes he's beating some song to death fighting not to laugh at him in front of God and everybody.
22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
...
Yes. Fine. Whatever. Let's move on, already.
Hey, here's a question: What the fuck happened to question #21?
23. How many one-night stands?
The embarassing half of one.
24. What was your favorite TV program?
Venture Bros. was my favorite new show of the year. I've been surprised by how much I've enjoyed Smallville's fourth season. Contrarily, I think Scrubs is starting to stagnate. The syndication of Gilmore Girls was met with applause and odd bouts of orientational confusion in The Barrio. (Again, I'm not saying I'm gay... yet.) Post-graduate life has really given me a chance to embrace sitcoms, and right now, Yes, Dear and King of the Hill are cracking my shit up. I've completely given up on The West Wing?
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Oh yeah. Big time.
...
What? I'm, uh, talking about Bendis. Yeah... Bendis. Nothing petty or bitter 'bout that, right?
26. What was the best book you read?
Aw, Jesus. How I hate questions like these... In the spirit of my earlier blasphemy, I'm just gonna say Lamb and call it a day.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
As I've said, I'm not hip.
I just realized that David Bowie's cool, for fucksake. I'm just now getting into They Might Be Giants beyond the stuff on that episode of Tiny Toon Adventures.
28. What did you want and get?
You know... I've always been a glass is half empty kind of guy, so this is a tough one for me to wrap my head around.
...
I guess I wanted another chance or two, and I got them.
And hey, a decent Spider-Man flick was a nice little bonus, too.
29. What did you want and not get?
Gainful employment. *koff*koff*erinuttle*koff*koff* A beard.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
I feel contractually obligated to say that it was Spider-Man 2, but Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was probably the best film of the year.
But if you want to know which flick's really stuck in my head, I'd have to say I Heart Huckabees.
Fuck Garden State. Was it 2004's Lost in Translation? It was surely meandering, overwritten, and overhyped enough to get my vote!
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I worked on my birthday. And then I dragged Caleb and Brent to see Spider-Man 2. After that, I went home and played that Spider-Man 2 game until the sun came up.
I turned 22, if you can believe that...
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Any kind of certainty that I did the right thing.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
Numbered shirts! Baseball T's! Wal-mart sweaters over button up shirts! And the same pair of jeans!
34. What kept you sane?
You know, I never really gave it much thought...
*Sigh* I guess you could say I usually escaped into a comic book.
(I should also probably mention, Margarita Night at La Tolteca really helped Wednesdays the day to be alive.)
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Probably that cutey Alexis Bledel. I have to admit, Kate Beckinsale became the hotty to bond with the patriarchs of my family with. (Van Helsing with my uncles. Laurel Canyon with the old man.) Of course, Erica Durance simply blew the Barrio away this year.
And I've long had a secret thing for Sara Tanaka.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
During the town hall debate, someone asked Bush what kind of judge he'd want appointed to the Supreme Court if he was given the chance, and he explained that he wouldn't want the same type of judges that made the Dredd Scott decision.
It was then that I felt secure in the fact that I needn't flee the country should Bush be elected. At least he was opposed to slavery. Phew! What a load off my mind...
Seriously, though, I've become really concerned about this idea of Red and Blue America. I can't tell you how many of my friends walk around with these cartoon villain conceptions of Republicans. I worked with a lot of conservatives at The Ocho. Are they assholes? Oh hell yeah. But so are most of the liberals I know.
Michael Moore is a talented crank. Mel Gibson's out of his gourd. Are we really rallying around these whackjobs?
We're going to disagree, people. That's the whole fucking point of democracy, but we've reached a point where we demonize the other side, as if the essential discourse of the two party system isn't different ideas of what to do with all of our fabulous riches while the majority of the world pouts in poverty. But everyone so emmerses themselves in a sea of like minded individuals, they start to think that their opinion isn't just their best guess at how to make this country great, but gospel fucking truth, and I'm talking about atheists and agnostics here.
If you've asked the question How did Bush win? Isn't he evil? I want you to pull your head out of your ass. Because it seems to me, the people who are most surprised that anyone voted for Bush had parents who did. How out of touch do you have to be not to see that there are people out there -- good, hard-working, loving people -- who felt that voting their hearts and conscience meant voting for George Bush?
Calling them shitheads is fun and cathartic, but it's not helping.
37. Who did you miss?
I missed Kate Jeffries' last night in town to my eternal regret.
And I missed Joe Kelly on Action Comics something fierce.
38. Who were the best new people you met?
The staff at the Ocho really made an impact, but a lot of them were shitheads.
Meeting Mel's sister was pleasant, if for no other reason than the fact that at my going away shindig at Shakespeare's, when Mel asked me what I thought of her high school aged sister, I said "I don't know... she seems a little young for me."
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
What's it all mean? What's the point? Who wants to exploit human misery if it's so empty? I am so bad at picking out the moral of my personal story. I don't learn lessons well, that's why I keep making the same mistakes over and over again. What the fuck was I supposed to get out this hell of a year of 2004? Leopards can't change their spots, and monsters can't shed their skin, so second chances are fucking urban legend? It's Sessions' world, baby, and we're just living in it? Film festivals don't always award the meritorious? The AP Style Book is scripture? English degrees aren't good enough to wipe your ass with in the real world?
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I'm not gonna lie. I was gonna do a line from "Protection" or "Rockstar" to really fuck with you guys. Something like "Tourists wear their wallets in high places when abroad so as not to be ripped off in ways to which they're not apprised; lawyers write some goofy terms in letters to the future so as not to get all screwed by methods hereinafter devised. So will I," or "You’re a slave to these people who don’t even know you. You think they adore you. They do. Then they throw you away." But I called you all assholes for Christmas, and wanted to be nicer for the new year.
So here goes:
forgive me,
for I did not know.
'cause I was just a boy
and you were so much more
than any god could ever plan,
more than a woman or a man.
and now I understand how much I took from you:
that, when everything starts breaking down,
you take the pieces off the ground
and show this wicked town
something beautiful and new.
you think that luck
has left you there.
but maybe there's nothing
up in the sky but air.
and there's no mystical design,
no cosmic lover preassigned.
there's nothing you can find
that can not be found.
'cause with all the changes
you've been through
it seems the stranger's always you.
alone again in some new
wicked little town...
so when you've got no other choice
you know you can follow my voice
through the dark turns and noise
of this wicked little town.
oh it's a wicked, little town.
goodbye, wicked little town...
I was going to go with "I'm floating in a most peculiar way," but Kate got there first, and I couldn't find a Portuguese translation...
when the road disappears
if there's any more people around
when the tour runs aground
and if you're still around
then we'll meet at the end of the tour
the engagements are booked through the end of the world
so we'll meet at the end of the tour
and we're never gonna tour again
no, we're never gonna tour again
- They Might Be Giants, "The End of the Tour"
"2004: The Year in Review"
I'm not gonna lie. I've been writing up a storm today, and I'm getting kinda punchy. Let's blow through this thing...
1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
I submitted a piece for publication. I applied for a big boy's job. I also did one really cool thing that I'm not allowed to talk about, and another that I just don't want to talk about.
Still no sex.
2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I checked, and apparantly, at the start of 2004, I resolved "to be less distant and socially awkward," "try to be ruled less by fear," "dial down the Spider-Man obsession," but at the same time, see Spider-Man 2in theaters more times than Kate Jeffries saw Titanic, making sure to "calculate for time and make up the difference" since Titantic's a longer movie and really "put that curly-haired Texan in her place for sure."
Why I didn't just resolve to be less of a weirdo fucking spaz monkey, I'll never understand.
I'm gonna say I failed at everything but the last bit, because I saw Spider-Man 2 eight times, and Kate lives in DC now. She's clearly been put in her place.
This year, I'm resolving to stick to a steady exercise routine, and write at least 300 words a day, as suggested by Anne Lamont in Bird by Bird: Instructions on Writing and Life. On a good day, I can write three times that easily, but on those bad days, 300 words is enough to be a real effort without killing you. The main thing is to get into the mind set that I've got to commit words to the page everyday, and stop slacking off watching reruns of Yes, Dear or King of the Hill (except in the case that I'm doing research for that essay about how King of the Hill can save America).
Oh, and I'm also resolved to be less of a weirdo fucking spaz monkey.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Does Superman count?
5. What countries did you visit?
Does Flavor Country count?
6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
Gainful employment and a place of my own. And I'd really like to have a beard. If I can either have one or the other, I'd rather have the beard.
No wait. Let me take that back. If I was gainfully employed, I could just buy a beard, couldn't I? (Why did I throw away that bag of hair?) It's not too late to change my answer, is it? It is? Fuck.
7. What date(s) from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
For a history minor, I'm not particularly milestone-minded. I'd say Graduation Day, but let's face it. I spent another six months in Columbia pretending like it never happened. That being said...
The night of February 11th was probably the loveliest evening of my life.
The events of May 6th through May 22nd constituted the one truly bizarre fortnight.
And of course, I finally left Columbia, Missouri, forever on November 20th. (A week later, I ate at the Wendy's on Clark Lane.)
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I applied for a customer service job at Marvel Comics and they asked me to answer the same question in a cover letter, and I claimed it was graduating, but honestly, it wasn't that hard. And if I could take it back, I'm not completely convinced that I wouldn't.
I thought Tobey & Clark was pretty cool.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I never finished Scenes from the Next... My first submission to Marvel Comics was rejected twice... I let myself get hosed... And it took me six months to get out of Columbia... I never spent $100 in one trip to Rock Bottom Comics like I always said I would...
My biggest failure of 2004?
I didn't leave on Tuesday.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I really banged my leg up bad one night, but I really should have broken something considering how drunk and stupid I was.
Can I just say how pleased I am with myself that I didn't go right for the "Does a broken heart count?" gag. Good for me, right? What? I blew it by even mentioning it at all? Fuck.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
This is a tough one. That bottle of cheap Scotch I bought sure made life interesting for a while, there. And Justice League: Secret Files 2004 kind of quietly blew me away.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
B. A. Jones. Am I proud of the myriad accomplishments of all of my friends? You bet your damn ass I am. But all of those accomplishments have already been celebrated by others. The quiet life of Brent Jones is a different matter entirely. Brent's my unsung hero, but I'm singing now. And the song goes Fell in love again, don't know what I'm gonna tell my friends...
(Uh, that's an inside joke... not me coming out of the closet... Not that there's anything wrong with that... or that it could never happen...)
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Ladies, I have to say, you disappointed me. Some of you downright crushed me. And none of you jumped on board the farewell fornication initiative... sheesh.
And of course, this is the year I fell out of love with Brian Michael Bendis.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Rock Bottom Comics.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Spider-Man 2. And I've reached a point where I just can't shut up about Hobie Brown. I'm warped.
16. What songs will always remind you of 2004?
All right, kids. Wanna hear it? Here it goes... In no particular order:
"Fish & Bird" ~ Tom Waits
"Hurt" ~ Johnny Cash ~
"Wait Up" ~ Uncle Tupelo
"Upward Over the Mountain" ~ Iron and Wine
"A Wolf at the Door" ~ Radiohead
"Good Woman" ~ Cat Power
"Dirty Man" ~ Joss Stone
"Hey Ya" ~ OutKast
"Under Control" ~ The Strokes
"Waltz #2" ~ Sam Phillips
"Row" ~ Jon Brion
"(Was I) In Your Dreams" ~ Wilco
"Melissa" ~ The Allman Brothers
"Lacrimosa" ~ Artist Unknown
"You're So True" ~ Jospeh Arthur
"Let Go" ~ Frou Frou
"Fight Test" ~ The Flaming Lips
"Ring Out the Bell" ~ Travis
"Ambulance" ~ TV on the Radio
"Via Chicago" ~ Wilco
"Amateur" ~ Aimee Mann
"L'area" ~ Ennio Morricone
"Space Oddity" ~ David Bowie
"Winter" ~ Josh Radin
"Hold On" ~ Jet
"I Can Hear You" ~ They Might Be Giants
"Firestarter" ~ Jimmy Eat World
"About Her" ~ Malcolm McLaren
"Somewhere Only We Know" ~ Keane
"Alfie" ~ Burt Bacharach
"Nothing is Good Enough" ~ Aimee Mann
"You Can Still Ruin My Day" ~ Jon Brion
"Learn to Live with What You Are" ~ Ben Folds
"Common People" ~ William Shatner
"Theologians" (Tobey & Clark opening remix) ~ Wilco
"Life on Mars?"~ David Bowie
"Vienna" ~ Billy Joel
"The Only Living Boy in New York" ~ Simon & Garfunkel
"Revv Me Up" ~ Jasper McVain
"Margaritaville" ~ Jimmy Buffet
"Nothing Better" ~ The Postal Service
"Such Great Heights" ~ Iron and Wine
"Look Away" ~ Nick DeMayo
"Wicked Little Town (Tommy Gnosis Version)" ~ The Bens
"Knock Yourself Out" ~ Jon Brion
"Dark Was the Night, Cold was the Ground" ~ Blind Willie Johnson
"Starman" ~ David Bowie
"Another Man Done Gone" ~ Billy Bragg and Wilco
"I'll Take You New York" ~ Tom Waits
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?
A little sadder. I was on the cusp of failure this time last year. Now I'm just a failure.
ii. richer or poorer?
Poorer. I don't know how it's possible, but I'm poorer!
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I wish I'd written more. I really just love writing. I spent too much time writing complaints about writing, when I should have just been writing.
I wish I'd stayed. I wish I'd done a lot of things...
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Drinking alone sounds like the socially responsible response, but fuck it. It's fun, and most of my drinking buddies skipped town.
I wish I'd wasted less.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent Christmas Eve at Baptist services with my Grandmother, plotting out stories in my head while it was explained to me that Jesus must be Lord because we mark the calendar by his birth.
This was hell for a Catholic. Like, literally. You miss Midnight Mass, you might as well FedEx your ass to hell. Plus, at St. Regis in KC, they always let this old guy do a solo, and he's just terrible and my entire family spends the five minutes he's beating some song to death fighting not to laugh at him in front of God and everybody.
22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
...
Yes. Fine. Whatever. Let's move on, already.
Hey, here's a question: What the fuck happened to question #21?
23. How many one-night stands?
The embarassing half of one.
24. What was your favorite TV program?
Venture Bros. was my favorite new show of the year. I've been surprised by how much I've enjoyed Smallville's fourth season. Contrarily, I think Scrubs is starting to stagnate. The syndication of Gilmore Girls was met with applause and odd bouts of orientational confusion in The Barrio. (Again, I'm not saying I'm gay... yet.) Post-graduate life has really given me a chance to embrace sitcoms, and right now, Yes, Dear and King of the Hill are cracking my shit up. I've completely given up on The West Wing?
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Oh yeah. Big time.
...
What? I'm, uh, talking about Bendis. Yeah... Bendis. Nothing petty or bitter 'bout that, right?
26. What was the best book you read?
Aw, Jesus. How I hate questions like these... In the spirit of my earlier blasphemy, I'm just gonna say Lamb and call it a day.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
As I've said, I'm not hip.
I just realized that David Bowie's cool, for fucksake. I'm just now getting into They Might Be Giants beyond the stuff on that episode of Tiny Toon Adventures.
28. What did you want and get?
You know... I've always been a glass is half empty kind of guy, so this is a tough one for me to wrap my head around.
...
I guess I wanted another chance or two, and I got them.
And hey, a decent Spider-Man flick was a nice little bonus, too.
29. What did you want and not get?
Gainful employment. *koff*koff*erinuttle*koff*koff* A beard.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
I feel contractually obligated to say that it was Spider-Man 2, but Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was probably the best film of the year.
But if you want to know which flick's really stuck in my head, I'd have to say I Heart Huckabees.
Fuck Garden State. Was it 2004's Lost in Translation? It was surely meandering, overwritten, and overhyped enough to get my vote!
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I worked on my birthday. And then I dragged Caleb and Brent to see Spider-Man 2. After that, I went home and played that Spider-Man 2 game until the sun came up.
I turned 22, if you can believe that...
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Any kind of certainty that I did the right thing.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
Numbered shirts! Baseball T's! Wal-mart sweaters over button up shirts! And the same pair of jeans!
34. What kept you sane?
You know, I never really gave it much thought...
*Sigh* I guess you could say I usually escaped into a comic book.
(I should also probably mention, Margarita Night at La Tolteca really helped Wednesdays the day to be alive.)
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Probably that cutey Alexis Bledel. I have to admit, Kate Beckinsale became the hotty to bond with the patriarchs of my family with. (Van Helsing with my uncles. Laurel Canyon with the old man.) Of course, Erica Durance simply blew the Barrio away this year.
And I've long had a secret thing for Sara Tanaka.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
During the town hall debate, someone asked Bush what kind of judge he'd want appointed to the Supreme Court if he was given the chance, and he explained that he wouldn't want the same type of judges that made the Dredd Scott decision.
It was then that I felt secure in the fact that I needn't flee the country should Bush be elected. At least he was opposed to slavery. Phew! What a load off my mind...
Seriously, though, I've become really concerned about this idea of Red and Blue America. I can't tell you how many of my friends walk around with these cartoon villain conceptions of Republicans. I worked with a lot of conservatives at The Ocho. Are they assholes? Oh hell yeah. But so are most of the liberals I know.
Michael Moore is a talented crank. Mel Gibson's out of his gourd. Are we really rallying around these whackjobs?
We're going to disagree, people. That's the whole fucking point of democracy, but we've reached a point where we demonize the other side, as if the essential discourse of the two party system isn't different ideas of what to do with all of our fabulous riches while the majority of the world pouts in poverty. But everyone so emmerses themselves in a sea of like minded individuals, they start to think that their opinion isn't just their best guess at how to make this country great, but gospel fucking truth, and I'm talking about atheists and agnostics here.
If you've asked the question How did Bush win? Isn't he evil? I want you to pull your head out of your ass. Because it seems to me, the people who are most surprised that anyone voted for Bush had parents who did. How out of touch do you have to be not to see that there are people out there -- good, hard-working, loving people -- who felt that voting their hearts and conscience meant voting for George Bush?
Calling them shitheads is fun and cathartic, but it's not helping.
37. Who did you miss?
I missed Kate Jeffries' last night in town to my eternal regret.
And I missed Joe Kelly on Action Comics something fierce.
38. Who were the best new people you met?
The staff at the Ocho really made an impact, but a lot of them were shitheads.
Meeting Mel's sister was pleasant, if for no other reason than the fact that at my going away shindig at Shakespeare's, when Mel asked me what I thought of her high school aged sister, I said "I don't know... she seems a little young for me."
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
What's it all mean? What's the point? Who wants to exploit human misery if it's so empty? I am so bad at picking out the moral of my personal story. I don't learn lessons well, that's why I keep making the same mistakes over and over again. What the fuck was I supposed to get out this hell of a year of 2004? Leopards can't change their spots, and monsters can't shed their skin, so second chances are fucking urban legend? It's Sessions' world, baby, and we're just living in it? Film festivals don't always award the meritorious? The AP Style Book is scripture? English degrees aren't good enough to wipe your ass with in the real world?
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I'm not gonna lie. I was gonna do a line from "Protection" or "Rockstar" to really fuck with you guys. Something like "Tourists wear their wallets in high places when abroad so as not to be ripped off in ways to which they're not apprised; lawyers write some goofy terms in letters to the future so as not to get all screwed by methods hereinafter devised. So will I," or "You’re a slave to these people who don’t even know you. You think they adore you. They do. Then they throw you away." But I called you all assholes for Christmas, and wanted to be nicer for the new year.
So here goes:
forgive me,
for I did not know.
'cause I was just a boy
and you were so much more
than any god could ever plan,
more than a woman or a man.
and now I understand how much I took from you:
that, when everything starts breaking down,
you take the pieces off the ground
and show this wicked town
something beautiful and new.
you think that luck
has left you there.
but maybe there's nothing
up in the sky but air.
and there's no mystical design,
no cosmic lover preassigned.
there's nothing you can find
that can not be found.
'cause with all the changes
you've been through
it seems the stranger's always you.
alone again in some new
wicked little town...
so when you've got no other choice
you know you can follow my voice
through the dark turns and noise
of this wicked little town.
oh it's a wicked, little town.
goodbye, wicked little town...
I was going to go with "I'm floating in a most peculiar way," but Kate got there first, and I couldn't find a Portuguese translation...
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