"Am I in a hurry to get somewhere... Am I shit."
"Ain’t about ta go… quittin' on me, are ya, pilgrim?"
"Hell, no, I ain't about to quit on you. Any time now I'm gonna choke down this big ol' shit sandwich I been served an' shoulder my goddamn burden again, keep on trynna accomplish the impossible. Any time now."
"An' what the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"Means I can't keep on doin' this when there's so much I ain't sure of, like what the hell happened to my eye? Why can't I remember anything after the plane? An' how come I got fucked so bad, by the people I loved the most? I just dunno how to fit it in my head... I feel like pukin'. Swear to god. This what I get? Try to be a good guy, try to do right by folks -- is this my fuckin' reward?"
"Well now, pilgrim... I don't recall nobody sayin' nothin' about no ree-ward."
"Point. Aw, fuck this self-pityin' bullshit. I dunno. Could be all I need's to shift down a gear."
- Garth Ennis, "The Man from God Knows Where"

Sometimes I -- [DON'T!!] I still wish we never left that room.
- Brian Michael Bendis, Daredevil #37

Tell me I did the right thing. Tell me I didn't just give away my dreams.
- Joe Kelly, Legacy: The Last Will & Testament of Hal Jordan

"The Life Quixotic"
I guess I should be having a nervous breakdown right now. (It's not just the season I've got my reasons.) But I thought it might be nice if for once, I took all of the energy I'd usually waste on trying to show everyone how batshit insane I feel and focused it on more productive pursuits.

I could spend my time trying to come up with creative ways to ask the same question I've been asking myself -- and anybody'd who'd listen -- for the last four years over and over again, or I could take that same time trying to answer more important questions, like How am I going to convince those fucks to let me do what I want to do with the rest of my life? and the like, because I've come to realize that there are times in which your questions just go unanswered and your feelings get left unresolved.

Instead of losing my mind, I think it'd be better if I just changed it. So I'm wondering if it's possible to have a nervous buildup, and I'm kind of looking forward to finding out.

* Are you finding what you were looking for out here with me? I hope so...