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- Brian Michael Bendis, Ultimate Spider-Man Scriptbook
"Praying with Anger"
There's this great bit in the Southpark episode where Kenny dies for good (for a while) where Stan asks Chef why God would let somebody's friend die, and Chef's response is, "Stan, sometimes God takes those closest to us, because it makes him feel better about himself. He is a very vengeful God, Stan. He's all pissed off about something we did thousands of years ago. He just can't get over it, so he doesn't care who he takes. Children, puppies, it don't matter to him, so long as it makes us sad. Do you understand?" And of course, Stan doesn't understand, because he's not sure why God would bother given us anything to start with, and Chef explains, saying "Well, look at it this way: if you want to make a baby cry, first you give it a lollipop. Then you take it away. If you never give it a lollipop to begin with, then you would have nothin' to cry about. That's like God, who gives us life and love and help just so that he can tear it all away and make us cry, so he can drink the sweet milk of our tears. You see, it's our tears, Stan, that give God his great power."
It's the "sweet milk of our tears" line that gets me everytime. Though there was a week in which I wondered if God hated me because I couldn't cry and thus, could not supply him with power, but eventually I realized that that was pretty stupid and as usual I was taking a funny bit in a cartoon way too seriously.
I bought a copy of Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal at the bookstore sometime in February or March, and I'm just now reading it since I have complete and utter control over my reading for the first time in untold years right now. It's been a wonderful companion for those late night trips to shit at A & S (actually, the toilet's fixed now) but I kind of think it peaked a little early. Page 12, to be exact:
The angel has confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become Spider-Man. He watches the television constantly, even when I sleep, and he has become obsessed with the story of the hero who fights demons from the rooftops. The angel says that evil looms larger now than it did in my time, and that calls for greater heroes. The children need heroes, he says. I think he just wants to swing from buildings in those tight red jammies.
I'm 285 pages into this book at this point, and I've yet to find a paragraph that can top this one in my mind. Don't ask me why. (And please don't think me serious. I'm joking. I joke. That's what I do, you assholes.)
"Wide Awake"
Why do I feel like I just woke up? I miss things as they happen. I always feel like I'm in this groggy fog.
"The Sixth Sense"
People are always asking me what super-power I'd most like to have. I'm serious, and just about as depressed about that as you are. I think it's because at some point, the only thing people know about me is that I like comic books, so they think that asking alot of questions in that general topic area will somehow help them connect with me.
Now flight's the easy answer, but honestly, flight's not going to do you much good with some type of enhanced endurance, because the human body's not built for that type of swift shift in atmospheric pressure and the like. Plus, despite how much I try to lie to myself on this, I'm afraid of heights. Telepathy's no good, because there are things I don't want to know about people that I learn just from stupid gossip. Lord know's what type of horrific crap is in all your heads. And super-strength's really only good for fighting and lifting crap, and I don't want to fill my days with fighting and lifting crap. Actually that's not true, because super-strength is a pre-requisite for any effective wall-crawling or web-slinging, which is what rules them out, too...
So I guess I'd honestly go with spider-sense. You never step on a banana peel when you've got spider-sense. And squirrels don't pee on you, either.
"Unbreakable"
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!
"Signs"
Don't believe in 'em.
"The Village"
The Travel Channel had this special on New York City as seen in the pages of Marvel Comics, and honestly, that's half the reason to go to Jersey right there.
I have the weirdest dreams in the afternoon...
- Brian Michael Bendis, Ultimate Spider-Man Scriptbook
"Praying with Anger"
There's this great bit in the Southpark episode where Kenny dies for good (for a while) where Stan asks Chef why God would let somebody's friend die, and Chef's response is, "Stan, sometimes God takes those closest to us, because it makes him feel better about himself. He is a very vengeful God, Stan. He's all pissed off about something we did thousands of years ago. He just can't get over it, so he doesn't care who he takes. Children, puppies, it don't matter to him, so long as it makes us sad. Do you understand?" And of course, Stan doesn't understand, because he's not sure why God would bother given us anything to start with, and Chef explains, saying "Well, look at it this way: if you want to make a baby cry, first you give it a lollipop. Then you take it away. If you never give it a lollipop to begin with, then you would have nothin' to cry about. That's like God, who gives us life and love and help just so that he can tear it all away and make us cry, so he can drink the sweet milk of our tears. You see, it's our tears, Stan, that give God his great power."
It's the "sweet milk of our tears" line that gets me everytime. Though there was a week in which I wondered if God hated me because I couldn't cry and thus, could not supply him with power, but eventually I realized that that was pretty stupid and as usual I was taking a funny bit in a cartoon way too seriously.
I bought a copy of Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal at the bookstore sometime in February or March, and I'm just now reading it since I have complete and utter control over my reading for the first time in untold years right now. It's been a wonderful companion for those late night trips to shit at A & S (actually, the toilet's fixed now) but I kind of think it peaked a little early. Page 12, to be exact:
The angel has confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become Spider-Man. He watches the television constantly, even when I sleep, and he has become obsessed with the story of the hero who fights demons from the rooftops. The angel says that evil looms larger now than it did in my time, and that calls for greater heroes. The children need heroes, he says. I think he just wants to swing from buildings in those tight red jammies.
I'm 285 pages into this book at this point, and I've yet to find a paragraph that can top this one in my mind. Don't ask me why. (And please don't think me serious. I'm joking. I joke. That's what I do, you assholes.)
"Wide Awake"
Why do I feel like I just woke up? I miss things as they happen. I always feel like I'm in this groggy fog.
"The Sixth Sense"
People are always asking me what super-power I'd most like to have. I'm serious, and just about as depressed about that as you are. I think it's because at some point, the only thing people know about me is that I like comic books, so they think that asking alot of questions in that general topic area will somehow help them connect with me.
Now flight's the easy answer, but honestly, flight's not going to do you much good with some type of enhanced endurance, because the human body's not built for that type of swift shift in atmospheric pressure and the like. Plus, despite how much I try to lie to myself on this, I'm afraid of heights. Telepathy's no good, because there are things I don't want to know about people that I learn just from stupid gossip. Lord know's what type of horrific crap is in all your heads. And super-strength's really only good for fighting and lifting crap, and I don't want to fill my days with fighting and lifting crap. Actually that's not true, because super-strength is a pre-requisite for any effective wall-crawling or web-slinging, which is what rules them out, too...
So I guess I'd honestly go with spider-sense. You never step on a banana peel when you've got spider-sense. And squirrels don't pee on you, either.
"Unbreakable"
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!
"Signs"
Don't believe in 'em.
"The Village"
The Travel Channel had this special on New York City as seen in the pages of Marvel Comics, and honestly, that's half the reason to go to Jersey right there.
I have the weirdest dreams in the afternoon...
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