When Jesus is taken down from the cross and cradled by his supporters, Wilco plays "Theologians," and Tweedy sings, ominously, No one's ever gonna take my life from me / I lay it down / A ghost is born.
- David Walters, "Jesus, Did You Hear the New Wilco?"

"The Passion of the Clark"
Nobody wants to watch The Passion of the Christ with me.

Nobody.

It's not that I blame them. I never had a real yen for this flick neither... until I read that if you sync Wilco's new album to Gibson's mission from God, things get kooky. Apparantly, the pummelling of the Lamb and "Less Than You Think" coincide perfectly.

I don't really want to see The Passion, but I'd love to watch a Wilco music video. I've never seen a Wilco music video. Are there Wilco music videos? Is the Passion and A Ghost is Born the closest we'll get to a Wilco music video? How many more times can I type Wilco music video?

"The Gospel According to Clark"
I always wanted to write a novel entitled The Gospel According to Judas, which was about a failed screenwriter named Judas Moore, a gay Irish Catholic hitman named Paul, and their wacky roadtrip across America, which would have been loosely based around "The Acts of the Apostles" -- I came up with this when I was still in Catholic school, a time in my life in which all of my stories were loosely based around "The Acts of the Apostles."

I thought this would be the first novel I'd ever write... back when I wanted to write novels more than I wanted to write comic books -- so basically, before I went crazy for Joe Kelly. Now, I'm thinking about writing a children's book about the bastard son of a superhero and his gay robot roommate who get swept up in a globe-trotting, magic murder mystery in a world where John Lennon lived and aliens lobby for civil rights...

But not as much as I'm thinking about how cool it could be to work at a White Castle in New Jersey. I bet you get to eat for free. And think of the high class hotties you'd rub palms and change with! Blondies and black girls fo' sho'!

"The Last Temptation of Clark"
This is my last weekend in Columbia, Missouri, like ever. I expect this place to be burned down or wiped out in my absense. That's just how self-involved I am... And mostly, I was wondering how I get my farewell fornication.

It's been written by Sorkin that in times like these... last days of war, last days before going off to war... it's been said that during these times... people sleep together.

And I was just wondering how I'd go about setting that type of thing up. Because seriously, I'm never going to see some of you again. And I'm really lonely. I'm not looking for much... Maybe a little heavy petting...? Hello?

Oh that's just great. They stopped reading. And before I went on my "I love Venture Bros.!" kick, too.

Feh. Whatever.