I was crossing the snowfields in front of the Capitol Building
It was Christmas and I was alone
Strange city
Strangers for friends
And I was broke
As the carillon sand its song, I dreamt of success
I would be the best
I would make my folks proud
I would be happy
It hasn't happened yet
- William Shatner, "It Hasn't Happened Yet"

"The Little Black Duck Christmas Special"
When I was a kid, and I liked writing just for the sake of writing, I always wanted to write a Christmas story, but I always started on them too late, so I never finished them in time for the holiday. And of course, once it was over, I lost interest.

As a result, the only Christmas story I've ever written is "Clarky Clarkington III Kills Santa." But you know, that probably wraps up all my warm and fuzzy feelings about the holidays quite well indeed.

Happy Holidays, you assholes.