why you blue? why you blue?
did she bring you out here, too?
wait and see, wait and see
the tide might bring you here to me...
- Minnie Driver, "Deeper Water"

"Ted Goes to Hell"
The first time I was a senior, I used to spend the odd afternoon at Justin's house where I'd pester the hell out of him until he gave me something to do in a corner. Like this one time he gave me a bouncy ball. This other time, he gave me this really shiny quarter and I played with it in the backyard for, like, three hours.

And then, of course, there was that damn game on the I-Mac.

I don't remember the name of it, but the whole premise was that you were the captain of this spaceship, and you could make money in various ways, like delivering cargo across the galaxy -- just like Futurama -- or by going out bringing in space bandits for the bounty. Of course, in order to fight the pirates you had to buy weapons for your ship, and in order to get weapons for your ship, you had to make deliveries, which was difficult because as soon you had enough money to buy some weapons, you'd undoubtedly be attacked by fucking space bandits who'd steal it from you...

Whenever I played, I signed in as Captain John Constantine and I named my ship the U.S.S. Hellblazer.

It was the worst game on the planet. So of course, I couldn't stop playing it. And when I wasn't complaining to Justin about how stupid the game was, I was screaming "John Constantine... Hellblazer!" only it sounded like "Join Coinstanteen... Hellllllblaz-ah!!!" It was a fun little thing I continued to do well after Justin and I went off to college, and I'm pretty sure it's one of about thirty-six reasons why he moved out of McDavid sophomore year.

All this to say, I'm actually excited about Constantine coming out tomorrow. Forget the fact that Keanu's in it. (I've said it before and I'll say it again, this is a role that should have gone to Brad Pitt.) Forget the fact that no movie based on an Alan Moore creation hasn't sucked. (I don't know, maybe Swamp Thing made sense within the context of the woebegotten 80's.)

It's not like I'm a huge Hellblazer fan or anything. You want a Hellblazer fan, go talk to Prewitt. I burned out on Vertigo a few years ago. After Preacher and Transmetropolitan came to their respective ends, I just stop seeing the point. I mean, as long as you remember that life's dark, demons are everywhere, and people have intestines inside them, chances are Vertigo doesn't have much else to say to you. There, I said it. It had to be said.

And yet, I want to see Constantine, and probably for no other reason than the opportunity to walk out of the theatre shouting "John Constantine... Hellblaz-ah!" once more with feeling.

"Seventh Avenue Heartache"
Okay, I'm going to take back some of the bad stuff I've said about the East Coast. Not everything, mind you, but some of it...

Yesterday, I took a walk down Seventh Avenue in search of Peter Parker. I mean, in reality I was actually going to a job interview south of the village, but I've decided that the real truth is that I was looking for inspiration for a short Spidey story or two, because let's face, strolling through New York City on a rainy day is like living a Jenkins story.

It didn't really work. It wasn't until I'd been back in my cozy little Jersey town when I realized that even superheroes get the flu, and that just might be something worth exploring...

"Krypto Night"
Last night's Smallville episode, "Krpyto" featured a super-powered dog. To tell you the truth, it was all pretty lame, but I absolutely loved it. Between Lois's assertion that the dog should be named Clarky and the closing scene, I was in comic geek / nostalgia heaven. Especially the last five minutes. Lois gives the dog a bath, and it manages to be way hotter than any of the Lana shower scenes that have peppered this season in a desperate and futile attempt for Kristin Kreuk to remain the show's resident "hot chick".

More importantly however, she dries him with a red towel, leaving it on his back in a very subtle directorial flourish that gives our Krypto a cape!

What surprised me even more, however, was how they managed to keep the dog around and respect Superman continuity at the same time. I mean, the whole time, I figured that this mutt had to die by the end of the episode, because there was no way we were going to add a superpowered dog to the cast, I don't care how goofy this seasons been. Episode writer Luke Schelhaas masterfully bring it all together by taking the dog's powers away and naming him Shelby. And as we all know, Shelby has long been established as the top dog of the Kent Farmyard in the pages of the good ol' DCU.

Television at its finest? Not really, but Sorkin gave up on West Wing, didn't he?

"Each Prayer Accepted & Each Wish Resigned"
I borrowed Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind from the library, watching it again for the first time since the three viewings I attended during its opening week. I know I'm only repeating what's been said a million times by a million people more observant than myself, but this flick is truly a masterpiece of story structure and visual nuance.

Joel doesn't decide to try to save his memories of Clementine until all of the bad ones have been erased. How fucking perfect is that? How fucking flawed to boot...

"My Trivial Pursuit"
We're about a week away from www.thestorythusfar.blogspot.com's two year anniversary celebration, AKA the blog trivia contest. I still haven't sat down to write out the test, but this morning, I finally finished the three disc prize.

I won't get into the specific track-listing, because I've been messing around here too long as it is, but let me calm your fears now and assure you, there's a William Shatner song on every volume. So study up kids. The Shat-Cat awaits!

"Here's the Wind-up..."
I pitched my Spider-Man stories to Marvel via e-mail about an hour ago. Now there's nothing to do but wait and see how it all pans out... I mean, unless you count those other pitches I should be working on.

Damn. I got work to do.