It's down to me, yes it is
The way she does just what she's told
Down to me, the change has come
She's under my thumb
-The Rolling Stones, "Under My Thumb"

"Ella Enchant Me"
I was at the comic book store the other day when Queen's "Somebody to Love" started playing on the radio and I renewed my objection to Ella Enchanted.

I recently had the chance to watch this when it aired on TBS when I was supposed to be moving out of the Spider-Hole, and I decided to put off packing for a couple hours more. I sat down to watch this, and I was riveted -- and not just because I'm convinced that if I married Anne Hathaway, I'd be the next Shakespeare.

I was riveted because I never got past the essential premise.

Ella has to do whatever you tell her to do. Anything at all. And the worst thing that happens to her is she almost has to kill some pretty boy airhead? People make her sing... They make her steal... They make her betray her bestest friend in the whole world... but that's it?

Please. I can only suspend my disbelief so far.

I mean, the evil fucking villain learns of Ella's enchantment, and to illustrate how evil and unfeeling he is, he makes her pat her head and rub her tummy? Bullshit!

I don't think I'm a particularly depraved human being (sober), and I'm certainly not calling for the mind-controlled violation of a young ingenue in a children's fantasy film in the post-Shrek traditon, but meet me halfway! The entire time, I found myself screaming at the screen "Make her jump up and down. Make her bend over! Something!"

I swear. I'm starting to feel like I'm too old for this nonsense.

Still. Way better than Devil Wears Prada.