Dear God, whose name I do not know, thank you for my life. I forgot how big... thank you for my life.
- John Patrick Shanley, Joe Versus the Volcano
"Beating a Dead Horse"
If you've come here for the blogtastic blogging of L. F. Clark, Esq. and aren't sure if you've got the right blog, have no fear. I am indeed the Little Black Duck. I can prove it:
Comic books, Ed, and stick-figure art are worth discussing at great length in intimate detail... especially if you drop Kate Jeffries name a whole bunch.
See. Who else but me would think to say something like that?
I decided to spice things up a little, and try as I might, I couldn't figure out a way to throw a mop-top cousin into the mix or marry off some characters in a hilarious, yet heart-warming series finale. So instead I went with a new title and a new template. Aren't you dazzled and delighted? Are you even there?
And for those of you who are curious, selecting the new title took quite a bit of deliberation. Titles I almost used but didn't include:
"A Last Kiss Before Parting, A Last Kiss Before Starting"
"The Joyful Lunatic Laughter of the Heathen Dildo"
"Someday When the Apricots are Blooming"
"I Hate Every Single Day"
"I Knew A Clown His Name Was Sam"
And five bucks to whomever can tell me the various references I'm making.
"So Clark, How's Life?"
Well, since you asked, I'm in a bit of a lull. I'm dried up, I'm bored, and I don't have a job (which I guess I should get used to... you know, being an English Major and all). Oh, and for some reason, I can't hang out with my high school friends without playing a board game. Have you ever played Mizzouopoly? Don't. It's Monopoly, but you buy Mizzou/Columbia related properties, like the Ninth Street or the Heidelberg instead of Short Line Railroad or Virginia. It messes you up, because instead of buying properties for their worth, you might find yourself buying crap for it's sentimental value. I couldn't bring myself to get a monopoly, because I wouldn't buy Middlebush because I had that horrible Sociology class.
Plus, whenever I play Brent Jones, Part Two in Monopoly, he gets all set in trying to screw me, and so I get all set in trying to screw him. (I'm just ignoring how that sounds. Grow up.) It's annoying.
"Story About My Four-Year-Old Sister That Will Hopefully Make the Ladies Think I'm Swell"
A couple of days ago, Chelsey asked me to bend over. And since she was related to me, and a minor, I asked why. She claimed it was "Just because," but after further interrogation, she admitted that she was trying to con me into giving her a piggy back ride. I decided to buck up, and take my big brother responsibilities seriously, so I went ahead and toted her around for a while. When I set her down, she informed me that her piggy back ride was not nearly long enough, and as such, I had to go to jail. I had twenty minutes to kill before what would ultimately be a disappointing dinner at Denny's with Justin and Brent Jones, Part Two, so I decided to go ahead a let the little tot jail me... so I went downstairs to get the harmonica that I found on the mensroom floor to get a real "Man I'm in jail and it sucks" atmosphere. The second Chelsey saw it, she of course wanted to play with it, so I gave it to her. How was I supposed to know she'd spend the next three days annoying everyone in the house with her blues stylings?
"The Office"
Since I'm still unemployed, I've taken to spending my time at the Borders on 350 Highway. There's a chair and a table in the history section that I like to sit, and the way the bookshelves are set up, it's kind of like I have a little office down there. If I had a laptop and some talent, I think I'd sit there and write, but since I don't, I just read.
I spend hours, surrounded by books like "The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Confederacy," the plagiarized ramblings of Stephen Ambrose, and more than a few presidential biographies, watching the world go by and go buy.
"A Small Question"
Is it okay to call someone just because you're not sure if you remember what their voice sounds like?
I only ask because I'm really bad at telephone talk.
"My Big Problems Right Now"
I can't decide whether or not I'm trying to talk myself into a bad situation, or trying to talk myself out of a good one. Somehow the latter seems more like me...
But you know what's really got me tearing my hair out? Wednesday nights at 7pm.
When Dawson's Creek ended, I was elated, and not just because the show had gotten too bad to suffer through, or because it took Jen an hour to die of a broken heart, but because finally, there was nothing to stand in the way of watching Ed right then, when it came on. I figured I could spend the next years of my life free and clear...
Then I learned that those assclowns running the WB are moving Smallville to the Creek's old timeslot... and me and Brent Jones, Part Two have spent the last few months making up the rules for a Smallville Drinking Game.
I've been screwed again!
That's it for me.
Hope the comments work.
- John Patrick Shanley, Joe Versus the Volcano
"Beating a Dead Horse"
If you've come here for the blogtastic blogging of L. F. Clark, Esq. and aren't sure if you've got the right blog, have no fear. I am indeed the Little Black Duck. I can prove it:
Comic books, Ed, and stick-figure art are worth discussing at great length in intimate detail... especially if you drop Kate Jeffries name a whole bunch.
See. Who else but me would think to say something like that?
I decided to spice things up a little, and try as I might, I couldn't figure out a way to throw a mop-top cousin into the mix or marry off some characters in a hilarious, yet heart-warming series finale. So instead I went with a new title and a new template. Aren't you dazzled and delighted? Are you even there?
And for those of you who are curious, selecting the new title took quite a bit of deliberation. Titles I almost used but didn't include:
"A Last Kiss Before Parting, A Last Kiss Before Starting"
"The Joyful Lunatic Laughter of the Heathen Dildo"
"Someday When the Apricots are Blooming"
"I Hate Every Single Day"
"I Knew A Clown His Name Was Sam"
And five bucks to whomever can tell me the various references I'm making.
"So Clark, How's Life?"
Well, since you asked, I'm in a bit of a lull. I'm dried up, I'm bored, and I don't have a job (which I guess I should get used to... you know, being an English Major and all). Oh, and for some reason, I can't hang out with my high school friends without playing a board game. Have you ever played Mizzouopoly? Don't. It's Monopoly, but you buy Mizzou/Columbia related properties, like the Ninth Street or the Heidelberg instead of Short Line Railroad or Virginia. It messes you up, because instead of buying properties for their worth, you might find yourself buying crap for it's sentimental value. I couldn't bring myself to get a monopoly, because I wouldn't buy Middlebush because I had that horrible Sociology class.
Plus, whenever I play Brent Jones, Part Two in Monopoly, he gets all set in trying to screw me, and so I get all set in trying to screw him. (I'm just ignoring how that sounds. Grow up.) It's annoying.
"Story About My Four-Year-Old Sister That Will Hopefully Make the Ladies Think I'm Swell"
A couple of days ago, Chelsey asked me to bend over. And since she was related to me, and a minor, I asked why. She claimed it was "Just because," but after further interrogation, she admitted that she was trying to con me into giving her a piggy back ride. I decided to buck up, and take my big brother responsibilities seriously, so I went ahead and toted her around for a while. When I set her down, she informed me that her piggy back ride was not nearly long enough, and as such, I had to go to jail. I had twenty minutes to kill before what would ultimately be a disappointing dinner at Denny's with Justin and Brent Jones, Part Two, so I decided to go ahead a let the little tot jail me... so I went downstairs to get the harmonica that I found on the mensroom floor to get a real "Man I'm in jail and it sucks" atmosphere. The second Chelsey saw it, she of course wanted to play with it, so I gave it to her. How was I supposed to know she'd spend the next three days annoying everyone in the house with her blues stylings?
"The Office"
Since I'm still unemployed, I've taken to spending my time at the Borders on 350 Highway. There's a chair and a table in the history section that I like to sit, and the way the bookshelves are set up, it's kind of like I have a little office down there. If I had a laptop and some talent, I think I'd sit there and write, but since I don't, I just read.
I spend hours, surrounded by books like "The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Confederacy," the plagiarized ramblings of Stephen Ambrose, and more than a few presidential biographies, watching the world go by and go buy.
"A Small Question"
Is it okay to call someone just because you're not sure if you remember what their voice sounds like?
I only ask because I'm really bad at telephone talk.
"My Big Problems Right Now"
I can't decide whether or not I'm trying to talk myself into a bad situation, or trying to talk myself out of a good one. Somehow the latter seems more like me...
But you know what's really got me tearing my hair out? Wednesday nights at 7pm.
When Dawson's Creek ended, I was elated, and not just because the show had gotten too bad to suffer through, or because it took Jen an hour to die of a broken heart, but because finally, there was nothing to stand in the way of watching Ed right then, when it came on. I figured I could spend the next years of my life free and clear...
Then I learned that those assclowns running the WB are moving Smallville to the Creek's old timeslot... and me and Brent Jones, Part Two have spent the last few months making up the rules for a Smallville Drinking Game.
I've been screwed again!
That's it for me.
Hope the comments work.
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