I feel like a quote out of context...
- Ben Folds Five, "Best Imitation of Myself"
"Embrace Your Demons"
Laine Harper taught me everything I ever needed to learn about hugging in the first months of my freshman year. I took her tutelage to heart becoming -- if I dare say so myself -- one of the best damn huggers this side of the Mississippi. I'm not an easy man to know. Who is? But I like to believe that when you've been embraced -- truly embraced -- by Lenar Ferdinand Clark, some cosmic secret has been made abundantly clear to you, and hopefully there's little unruly pokage. (Please applaud me for not making the obvious "ginormous unruly pokage" joke).
I only bring this up because it seems that years of keeping to myself have left my huggery skills withered and flaccid. I am no longer the embracer of life I once was. I ran into Laine last week, gave her a hug, and I swear to God, I think patting on the back was involved.
God help me, I've lost the golden touch.
"Kill Bill Vol. 2"
It's official. My final paper will indeed focus on the works of Garth Ennis. There's really no academic challenge left for me at this institution of higher learning. It's over. I won.
"The Love Song of H. Brown: Prowler"
My strange obsession with the Gwen Stacy clone will surely be the end of me.
I remember when The Prowler first burrowed its way into my skull. It was the bygone summer of 2002. That glorious season when Adam Henerey was rechristened Hank and Spider-Man had finally taught me the grace of walking away when you've got nothing left to give. I was living in the J-Slums and had become resigned to drinking rather heavily, when one lazy afternoon, while shampooing carpets at Midway Heights Elementary, it occurred to me that me and Hobie Brown had a lot in common.
Neither of us have really amounted to much just yet... We both really like the color purple (not to be confused with The Color Purple)... We both think Spider-Man's a great guy... And most importantly, we both have first names that don't make sense.
Where the hell did "Lenar" come from? And is "Hobie" short for something or just retarded? And what could it possibly be short for? I don't think Hobias is an actual name, is it? Would anyone name their son Hobo and not expect him to grow up a clown?
What? No, I wouldn't say there's really much of a point to any of this. Why?
NEXT:
One Year of Hell on a Stick Later...
- Ben Folds Five, "Best Imitation of Myself"
"Embrace Your Demons"
Laine Harper taught me everything I ever needed to learn about hugging in the first months of my freshman year. I took her tutelage to heart becoming -- if I dare say so myself -- one of the best damn huggers this side of the Mississippi. I'm not an easy man to know. Who is? But I like to believe that when you've been embraced -- truly embraced -- by Lenar Ferdinand Clark, some cosmic secret has been made abundantly clear to you, and hopefully there's little unruly pokage. (Please applaud me for not making the obvious "ginormous unruly pokage" joke).
I only bring this up because it seems that years of keeping to myself have left my huggery skills withered and flaccid. I am no longer the embracer of life I once was. I ran into Laine last week, gave her a hug, and I swear to God, I think patting on the back was involved.
God help me, I've lost the golden touch.
"Kill Bill Vol. 2"
It's official. My final paper will indeed focus on the works of Garth Ennis. There's really no academic challenge left for me at this institution of higher learning. It's over. I won.
"The Love Song of H. Brown: Prowler"
My strange obsession with the Gwen Stacy clone will surely be the end of me.
I remember when The Prowler first burrowed its way into my skull. It was the bygone summer of 2002. That glorious season when Adam Henerey was rechristened Hank and Spider-Man had finally taught me the grace of walking away when you've got nothing left to give. I was living in the J-Slums and had become resigned to drinking rather heavily, when one lazy afternoon, while shampooing carpets at Midway Heights Elementary, it occurred to me that me and Hobie Brown had a lot in common.
Neither of us have really amounted to much just yet... We both really like the color purple (not to be confused with The Color Purple)... We both think Spider-Man's a great guy... And most importantly, we both have first names that don't make sense.
Where the hell did "Lenar" come from? And is "Hobie" short for something or just retarded? And what could it possibly be short for? I don't think Hobias is an actual name, is it? Would anyone name their son Hobo and not expect him to grow up a clown?
What? No, I wouldn't say there's really much of a point to any of this. Why?
NEXT:
One Year of Hell on a Stick Later...
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