I kinda just needed to be me for a while. Even the old me.
- Brian Michael Bendis, "The Widow"


"Free Clark and the Rest of the World"
When I woke up this morning, I really didn't feel like leaving my bedroom.

I didn't have any obligations today, so I could have very well done just that, but somehow, I got drawn out into the world anyway.

"The Return of Freaky Counselor"
In the summer of my sixteen year, long before he became known as the guy who always got me drunk, Greg Heckenberg was known as "freaky counselor" guy in our little geeky summer social circle. He had this uncanny and unnerving knack for deconstructing ones facade. His big thing with me was my constant need to tell jokes and be amusing so people will like me. I mean, I'm sure everyone notices this about me, but Greg was the guy who'd constantly throw it in my face.

Last night, during $1.25 margarita night at La Tolteca, after I'd just wrapped up a classic Clark anecdote about being peed on by a squirrel, Freaky Counselor Guy made a brief return stint, and laid down a little extra nugget that really flipped my lid:

He said that the tragedy of the situation isn't that I feel a constant need to perform to feel accepted, it's that as far as others seem concerned, it's absolutely true.

"Arms and the Men"
You know those movies where there's this sympathetic, well-intentioned guy pining away for some girl who's absolutely determined to pursue toxic relationships that are ultimately unsatisfying because of low self-esteem or annoyingly blind stinking stupidity?

I love these movies and it occurs to me that in most of them, he eventually wins her over, but in the great ones, he doesn't. I love them, and I always thought I loved them because I identify with those sympathetic, well-intentioned guys (*sigh* me and my supreme arrogance). But now, I'm starting to wonder... Is it possible that I'm really more like the woman?

"Free Samples"
I don't know if you'll remember, but I had this inquiry letter I wanted to write to Marvel Comics, right? Well, I sent it out last Wednesday, and it said to allow three to five weeks for a response, so I thought I'd have a while to sit and stew about it, but I got my self-addressed stamped envelope back today.

The good (nay, great!) news: Apparantly, I am welcome to send one sample of my original writing to the attention of Marvel's Submissions department.

The bad news: I'm a little unclear on what just what the hell that means.

The letter says to send one sample of my original writing. Do they want a comic strip, or some short story I've written? Could I actually send some Little Black Duck nonsense (not that I would. Trust me, anyone who actually reads comics wouldn't be too impressed with The Unhappy Duckling.)

The letter also says not to send stories using Marvel characters, which I guess rules out "What If the Amazing Spider-Man Was Black?" which I kind of consider my best short story.

The thing about "What if...?" is that, despite what it's unfortunate title may lead one to believe, it's not actually a story about Spider-Man being black or... you know what? I'm tired of trying to explain this. Just read the damn thing.

Maybe I'm going to have to forego a marathon spider-solitaire session, and actually write something new.

The bad news: I'm about fifty-fifty on the short story front. Every odd story I write turns out okay, but every even one kind of sucks.

The good news: I'm up to the Seventh Short Story by L. F. Clark.

The sad news: I have no good ideas right now.

I gotta say, my mood's not getting any better...