The trouble with lies is that they come back to bite you. Kinda like mad dogs or unruly spiders... The truth is, I'm confused... It's a nagging feeling that's grabbed me by the shorts an' won't let go. Pulling at my senses... I feel like I have this terrible itch under my skin, but I'm wearing boxing gloves or something, an' I can't find a way to scratch it.

It's quiet now, but I know she hasn't gone too far. I still have the headaches and the sour mood to prove it. I want to scream across the rooftops, just to let her know she's wasting her time -- I'll never be hers. I want to tell her that I'm unimpressed, that everything's fine in Spideyville.

But that wouldn't exactly be true.

- Paul Jenkins, "Under My Skin"

"What If... Spider-Fan Had a Sidekick?"
So I'm working an usher shift yesterday, and I see this kid wandering the theater hall and he looks either really confused, or like he's trying to sneak into a different movie. And I don't really care if he sneaks into another movie, but I'm bored, so I ask him if he needs any help.

He says no. There's a beat. Then he decides to tell me that he's seeing Spider-Man 2 for the third time today. I guess he thought he was going to impress me or something. He picked the wrong guy on staff, hell, the wrong guy in Columbia to try to pull that shit with.

So I looked him straight in the eye and said "Yeah, I've seen it six times," and in my head, I added "bitch," but I didn't say it out loud because, I mean, do I actually have to explain why I didn't call an eight-year-old a bitch?

We talked about our favorite parts. He likes when Doc Ock gets defeated. (Hope I didn't just ruin anything for someone who hasn't seen this flick yet.) I told him I liked the scene on the train. We both agreed that Mary Jane was pretty cool, and that they really set themself up for a sequel.

All in all, a nice little moment in my day.

...

I haven't been sleeping well.

NEXT:
Caleb and Lenar go to White Castle...