Anger is easy. Hate is easy. Vengeance and spite are easy. Lucky for you... and for me... I don't like my heroes ugly and mean. Just don't believe in it.

Dreams save us. Dreams lift us up and transform us. And on my soul, I swear... Until my dream of a world where dignity, honor, and justice becomes the reality we all share -- I'll never stop fighting.

Ever.
- Joe Kelly, "What's So Funny About Truth, Justice, & The American Way?"


"Why did the absurdist cross the road?"
"Seventeen fish sticks."
- Joe Kelly, "Trial by Fire"

Most everyone needs a second chance at some point in their lives... and most of them deserve one. Do you realize how powerful those two words are, second chance? I don't think there's a greater gift you can give to someone, a second chance in life. My heart is beating through my chest right now, because this is where I'm supposed to haul you in and lock you up... But something has to change, doesn't it? It just has to. So... I'm offering you a second chance. Put the past in a box and take my hand in friendship. It won't be easy, and I'm not ignoring what brought us here in the first place -- but frankly, I can't do anything about any of that. The past is hard and cold and unforgiving. I can only change the future... and so can you. You have such... power. Gifts. Do you know what you could accomplish if you just tried? You could make the world beautiful. You could change everything. So that's the deal. One-time offer. Take my hand. Let me help you. Let's make a better world. What do you say?
- Joe Kelly, "The Gift"

Don't you ever just feel... out of it? Like you don't belong anywhere?
- Joe Kelly, "How Kon-El Got His Groove Back"

Squirrels and coconuts. You spent your whole pathetic life working to whip together this little reunion like a Martha Stewart on acid, figuring to break my spirit... And for a second, it worked... You did it... You had me ready to leap up and impale myself on the nearest circus midget. But then something happened... a synapse fired open and I had what born-agains and alcoholics like to call a moment of clarity. You ever see that old cartoon with the squirrel who's trying to eat a coconut? Chuck Jones, I think... This retarded squirrel finds a coconut and thinks that he's hit the giant acorn mother load -- only he can't crack the nut. It's too hard. So he gets a jack hammer, he throws it down stairs, runs it over with a truck... nothing. Finally, he pushes this mother up a gazillion stairs all the way to the top of the Empire State Building, and heaves it. Crack. Slowly, the shell peels back... and you know what's inside? Another coconut shell. That squirrel is in cartoon hell. That squirrel is me. Every time I get a shot at saving the world, or doing right or waving the truth and justice flag instead of gutting a guy, I do it... And every time, I get the shaft for my trouble. Everytime, there's another coconut shell I gotta crack. But just like that retarded squirrel... in another month or so, the cartoon reruns, and I try again. You did mess my head by showing me what a dirtbag I've been in my lifetime... but that doesn't change the fact that I still try to be better. I'm giving it a shot. At the end of the day... I'm winning, and I wouldn't have things any different --
- Joe Kelly, "The End of the End" or "Happy Entrails to You..."

George... George... George of the jungle... s-s-... Sarong around his knee... Aaaaah... Watch out for that alien with the teeth and teeth... This isn't my birthday at all... I think.
- Joe Kelly, "Dead Reckoning"

"Hey Joe, Haps to the Birthday"
Joseph Paul Kelly is now thirty-three years old, and to my mind, that means he will reveal the secrets of the universe and eternal life in the pages of Justice League Elite and Enginehead, and then he will go to Jerusalem to celebrate Passover -- despite the fact that he's not Hebrew -- where he will be arrested, tried, and executed in a most unkind manner... and three days later, things are gonna get weird.

Of course, the things that happen in my mind are rarely all that real. And the things that happen in my heart are often cracked and broken.

I've come to accept the fact that I will never save the world. I won't win a Pulitzer either. I'll never write a New York Times Bestseller... hell, considering my work ethic thus far, I'll probably never publish a novel. But I'd love to have the impact on one person that Joe Kelly's had on me. If there came a day when some stupid college kid somewhere in the world was up 'til two in the morning searching through back issues of Prowler or some ill-received Spider-Man mini-series called "The Devil and Peter Parker" to find a quote to write on his white board while everyone else just kind of shrugged and shook their head -- even if I never knew it happened -- I'd consider myself the luckiest man to walk the earth, and I've left some rather unlucky days behind me.

So forget everything else. That's my new mission in life. And if I've got to do it all alone, well that's just peachy...

'cause I know what'll always keep me going...