Cleave worlds. Knit them as one. We walk, unafraid... The blessed and the wretched alike.
- Joe Kelly, "Aftermath"

"Fall from Grace"
On Thursday morning, I woke up and decided that I wasn't even going to try to write a script for this Nickelodeon thing, as I'd have to mail it the next day, and I didn't have anything yet.

As the day progressed, however, I remembered that pulling an all-nighter to throw some words together at the last minute used to be my thing. It was who I am.

By eleven a clock, I had a rough idea of a script. (The Teen Titans come back from a mission in Mexico, having left Beast Boy alone in the tower since you can't bring exotic animals into foreign environments, only to find that the house has been trashed, leaving Beast Boy twenty-two minutes to regale them with the strange events that occurred during their absense. Lame? Yes. But hey, it's children's television. It's not like Kids Next Door ever makes any sense.)

So I sat down and started writing. I finished the teaser in about fifteen minutes, then decided to curl up on the couch with Formerly Known as the Justice League and go to sleep.

And thus, a daredevil died.

"I'll Read White Teeth When I'm Good and Ready"
I'm doing my best to discover the popular British satirists -- you know, like Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett -- but my book club keeps giving me all these award winning books to change my life and what not.

Geez. Can't a guy dumb it down in peace anymore?

"The Crimes of Parishioner Clark"
I've missed one week of church since I've been in New Jersey, and that was the week that I was told that I couldn't be a Marvel Comics intern. As such, I've been sure to make it every week since then, because while I'm not quite a criminal, I am a superstitious and cowardly person.

Which just goes to show, while I have my doubts about whether or not there's a kind and benevolent force looking down on me with love, I have little trouble believing that God would torpedo my dreams for skipping out on some empty ritual.

I know it's crazy. Believe me, I know it's crazy, but I don't feel like I have much choice. I've got this tax job and my Spider-Man Unlimited pitches to consider. I can't wait until one or the both of them fall through so I can unclench and get back to business as usual.

"Test of Strength"
It occurs to me that I may have made the test a wee bit too difficult.

My reason for this is simple: I wanted to show all of those people who've told me that I should consider becoming a teacher the very reason why I shouldn't be a teacher. Because this is what I'd do to my students.

I'd torture them for no other reason than to watch the little bastards stew.

"Felly Kelly"
I finished my interview questions, and I think they've been sent to The Man Himself. The Esteemed Mr. Kelly could be working on them right now.

Which is a little weird to think about. A littel weird, but very cool.

"Porno for Pyro"
Does anyone know if Pyro's alive? You know, the the Marvel mutant who controls fire? You might remember him from X2? Last time I saw him, he'd contracted that awful Legacy Virus. Did that kill him? Is he still around?

I only ask, because I finally figured out Prowler #4, which is, in many ways, the issue that would make or break this series. Hopefully, we'd have garnered some Eisner talk with issue #3's stirring reflection on racial identity in modern America in "Ultimate Negro Team-Up," and turned some heads when Hobie tries to get a job with one of the Marvel Universe's most vile organizations in issue #2.

By issue #4, I figure people will have decided if they were going to really give this series a shot or not, making it the perfect time to finally put Hobie back in that Prowler costume. My original idea here was that there was going to be this huge Avengers-level crisis, and while the Prowler's racing to join in the effort to save the world, he runs afoul of some heavy hitter like the Juggernaut or something, trying to capitalize off the chaos since the Avengers and Fantastic Four are otherwise occupied, forcing Hobie to step up. It was going to be a riff on stories like Buffy's "The Zeppo" or Justice League Unlimited's "The Greatest Story Never Told", where some loser sidekick -- like Xander Harris or Booster Gold -- ends up saving the world, but nobody notices because everyone else is busy saving the world from something even bigger.

The only problem with this -- I mean, if you don't see a problem with hackwork, and apparantly, I don't -- is that it doesn't ring too true to me. It's not like this is the first time the world's been in danger since Hobie gave up the costume. What makes this any different? Whatever makes this guy put on a costume again needs to be something that speaks directly to him as a character, and that's when I remembered that Wolverine killed the Hornet.

Seven years ago, Spider-Man got framed for murder and a bounty was put on his head, so everytime he went out to do good, everybody'd be taking shots at him for the reward, so he decides to dress up in a bunch of different costumes, right? Well one of them was the Hornet, who was this guy who wore an anti-gravity harness that'd been designed by none other than Hobie Brown. Well eventually, Spidey cleared his name, at which point, some other guy too up the mantle of the Hornet and joined a team called the Slingers. (I'm not really sure how this happened, partly because I don't remember it so well, and partly because one of the few things I do remember is that the reason Hobie didn't use the anti-gravity harness himself was that it was too heavy for a normal person to wear, and the only reason Spider-Man could wear it was because he had superstrength. If I remember correctly, the guy who took over as the Hornet was even weaker than Hobie. How the hell does that work out? And how can an anti-gravity harness be too heavy to begin with? Non sequitors abound!)

Anyway, a few months ago in Wolverine, everybody's favorite mutant manhunter ends up getting hypnotized by HYDRA or something, and starts going on a kill crazy rampage through the Marvel Universe, and at one point, SHIELD finds out that he's killed the Hornet. (The whole point of the scene being this opportunity for the writer to make us think that Wolverine's killed Spider-Man, but that's neither here nor there.)

Now I've been thinking about it. What would have happened to that harness? Is SHIELD going to give it to the Hornet's next of kin with the rest of his personal effects? I don't think so. They're going to keep it, right? Well, what if somebody steals it from them and starts using it to aid in a crime spree? And what if Hobie Brown turns on the news one day to discover that someone's using his technology to hurt people -- which is, incidentally, a recurring theme in Prowler appearances thus far, as criminals have stolen Prowler costumes for nefarious purposes on three seperate occasions? Throw in the fact that he's feeling useless and restless because he can't find a job, and I think you've got a strong, character-driven reason for him to don the green and purple once again.

And I like the idea of Pyro being the one who stole the anti-gravity harness for reasons that go beyond the simple fact that I came up with all this while watching an episode of The Batman featuring Firefly.

First off, one of the series goals is to use third-tier heroes and villains as co-stars to draw in fans who just miss seeing people like Silver Sable or Rocket Racer, and I think Pyro fits that bill. I think these types of characters can be made interesting without amping up their powers or turning them into murderous psychopaths. Take Batroc for example. He's only lame because he usually gets used as a bad French caricature who gets knocked out with a pimp slap from Captain America in two or three pages. Spend six-issues with the guy and treat him like comics' answer to Shrek 2's Puss-in-Boots, and I think you've got yourself a winner.

Secondly, the whole point of putting Hobie in the costume is to tear it off of him piece by piece. I hate this costume. Hate it. I want to see it burned, and rather than have Hobie chuck it in a bonfire, how about it goes up in a blaze of glory? I can think of no one better to ignite such a blaze than Pyro -- barring a mind-controlled Human Torch, and that's too hackneyed even for me. Besides, that opens the door for the second-most classic Little Black Duck catchphrase to sneak into the Marvel Universe when Pyro sets Hobie's pneumatic glider system ablaze and tells him "You're capes on fire."

I can see it all. The scene where Prowler tracks Pyro down. ("Let me guess, Mothman, right?") The fiery aerial battle over Manhattan (complete with Hobie's death defying leap off of the Chrysler Building -- sans cape-glider -- at the climax). And of course, the surprise ending where a singed and smoking Prowler stands over the defeated Pyro just as SHIELD agents step out of the shadows. ("Impressive work, Mr. Brown. Have you ever considered a career as a field operative?")

...

It's been explained to me many times that few people actually read all the way through these little brainstorming sessions of mine. Believe you me, I wish I wasn't wasting all this on people with better things to do, but I've yet to find anyone in power over at the House of Ideas who's got the time or inclination to read through this stuff either. 'til I do -- which seems like a long way off now -- this is just gonna have to be the dumping ground for all my ideas. The sooner we all get used to this, the better I'm afraid.

And I'm really sorry to anyone who thought this was going to be an extended meditation on "Tahitian Moon"...