"Either Way"
Maybe the sun will shine today
The clouds will roll away
Maybe I won't be so afraid
I will understand everything has its plan
Either way

You know, the post named after the songs of an album has got to be one of my oldest entry tricks, and it all just seems so prosaic to me right now. It's like something out of a creative writing book:

Pick an album that has particular significance to you. Write a paragraph or two about how it makes you feel.

But who ever said a blog was art? [Clark's Note: I know... I know... I did.]

"You Are My Face"
I have no idea how this happens
All of my maps have been overthrown
Happenstance has changed my plans
So many times my heart has been outgrown
Now everybody’s feeling all alone
Can't tell you who I am
When everybody’s feeling all alone
Can't tell you who I am

As you may be aware, Wilco's "Theologians" is the Tobey and Clark theme song. What you might not be so aware of is that, in the credit sequence I have in my head, it never includes the entire song, but starts at that cool guitar solo right before Tweedy sings "I'm going away, where you will look for me". Because Theologians is, like 3 minutes long, and most themesongs get 30-seconds, you know?

Well, "You Are My Face" is the theme for the soon-to-be revamped and released Toby & Clark (which will be nothing you'd expect it to be, unless you think that I can spell) and in the credit sequence in my head, it's just that delightfully indignant part that contains the above lyrics. It's perfect for the tale of two broken down men living in the dross of their shattered dreams.

"Impossible Germany"
The fundamental problem
We all need to face
This is important
But I know you're not listening
Oh I know you're not listening
If this was still new to me
I wouldn't understand
Impossible Germany
Unlikely Japan

If I were still the type to write outlandish short stories of globetrotting adventurers, I'd write one that'd start in the quiet hamlet of Impossible, Germany and ended in the burning ruins of a Japanese village called Unlikely.

Actually, was I ever the type to write outlandish short stories of globetrotting adventurers? I've been looking over what I consider my serious fiction, and the tone always seems so maudlin. You look at the voice I've used on this blog and compare it to the one I write my short stories in, and the difference is always night and day.

When did I decide that writing can't be fun?

"Sky Blue Sky"
The drunks were ricocheting
The old buildings downtown
Empty so long ago
Windows broken and dreaming
So happy to leave what was my home

It's been a month and I still play this album every single day. It's like when I got the Scrubs soundtrack and never thought I'd need a new CD ever again.

But if I ever find that Too Much Joy CD, I'll get it.

"Side with the Seeds"
The treetops nod
the rain applauds
The park grows dark
And the swings all slowly die
But you and I will be undefeated
by agreeing to disagree
No one wins but the thieves
so why side with anything

To this day, I'm still convinced she was right.

Mark your fucking calendars.

The Moleman beats the Everloving Blue-Eyed Thing.

"Shake It Off"
Tears get triggered
Yours remind me
Of the ice melting in my glass
Finally full again

Mmm... Bourbon.

"Please Be Patient with Me"
How can I warn you when my tongue turns to dust
Like we’ve discussed
It doesn’t mean that I don’t care
It means I’m partially there

Since the day I got here I've been trying to make my way back to my beloved Show-Me State. And while I manage to affect a fairly good impression of complete helplessness, the fact is that I certainly have enough resourcefulness that if this was, indeed, a priority to me, I could have accomplished this by now.

So what stops me? What keeps me in the Armpit of the Northeast, dodging human feces on the streets that reek of piss? It can't just be the vague thrill of watching a movie or reading a book that takes place in New York City and realizing I could go to these places.

You know what it is? In the back of my head, I have this fear that I can just never go back. That I'm chasing some phantom of an idea of what I think my life used to be like that I'm never getting back. That the good times are always behind me and never ahead.

Make no mistake my friends. Because I really do...

"Hate It Here"
I caught myself thinking
I caught myself thinking once again
Have to try to keep my mind out of this
Try not to pretend
I'll check the phone
I'll check the mail
I'll check the phone again and I call your mom
She says you’re not there and I should take care

Someday they'll write beautiful alt.country songs about Spider Jerusalem, but today is not the day.

Maybe once I get Baby-Headed Death Eater off the ground...

"Leave Me (Like You Found Me)"
Can you believe it
I'm somebody just like you
Content with being blue, honestly
Leave me like you found me

The greatest thing about life is that we can touch the lives of everybody around us. The worst thing about life is that our lives can be smudged on a whim by any random asshole who just happens to blow past us.

I want to be left alone but I get lonely.

"Walken"
I was walking
Like I said by myself
I was talking
To myself about you
Like I always do

My lowgrade tourettes is spiraling out of control. I have left behind my once classic mantra of "I hate my life/self/life/self" for the damnation sing-along "I'm a bad man going to a bad place."

Because maybe I don't? But I am, yes, I am...

"What Light"
And if you're trying to paint a picture
But you're not sure which colors belong
Just paint what you see
Don't let anyone say it's wrong

In all the half-baked dreams of sci-fi fantasies and offbeat comic pitches, is there one germ of an idea that I should let fester? Just one?

"On and On and On"
Please don't cry
This world of words and meanings makes you feel outside
Something that you feel already deep inside
You've denied
Go ahead and cry

When we walked the earth, talking but never speaking words while wondering who would be the first to go -- you know, when I was so sure that I'd have to face the biggest things alone whether I wanted to go -- I think these are the little things I would have told you so you wouldn't think about the big ones.

There two sides of the same coin.