Say... Where's your scar? And for that matter, why are you dressed like Spider-Man? And Thirty? Where the devil is the real Harry Potter?
- Twisted Toyfare Theatre's "When Harry Met Spidey" by Pat McCallum, Tom Root, Zach Oat, Doug Goldstein, Bill Jensen, Rob Bricken

"Haps to the Birthday, My Personal Frankie Hector"
Melissa Maynard's turning 21 today. How plastered are we all sure she's going to get tonight? I'm definitely expecting some return-the-favor drunk dialing around midnight or so.

But really. Happy Birthday, Mel.

"When Harry Met Spidey"
So I went to that Harry Potter flick last night, and after it was over, the people I was with (Erin and Caleb, who I really think will be the "It" couple of the summer) were talking about the stuff they were surprised they didn't put in the film that'd been in the book. So I said that I was surprised that when Sirius was dragging Ron into that secret tunnel under the Whomping Willow, they cut the line where he turns back to Harry and says "Find the Boy Who Lived, or I'll peel the flesh from his bones."

They didn't get it because apparantly they haven't seen the trailer to Spider-Man 2 as many times as I have, but certainly not because that joke wouldn't have been hi-fucking-larious even if Forum 8 had the good sense to air it before the movie started. In fact, I was even asked if I simply have to imprint my personal obsession on everything I see and hear.

Well yeah, but is that really my fault? I mean, is it so wrong that I look at this moody teenager with dark hair and glasses, orphaned and living with his aunt and uncle, embued with amazing abilities that he hardly knows what to do with and see everything I love about Ultimate Spider-Man? When Harry's magic gets out of control and his uncle's sister pays the price, is it crazy for me to think, "Come on, Potter, just because you can do something, it doesn't mean you have a right too! With great power comes great responsibility, remember that Harry!" When he's getting attacked by the aforementioned Whomping Willow (my favorite character in the film, by the way), am I in the wrong for thinking "Dodge those tentacles, l'il Spidey!" When a trusted ally makes like Alex P. Keaton in Teenwolf, what else can I do but think to myself, "Stutterin' Stan Lee in a knap sack! John Jameson's unleashed the Man-Wolf once more!" Hell, the freaking scar warns him when Voldemort's around! He's got Potter-sense for petesake!

...

Okay. I see your point now, Erin.

"So them's th' two golden rulez! Cut dat product so fine, and never let a ho play you fo' a sucka!"
"Professor Huggy Bear... What does this have to do with magic?"
"Even dropouts gots ta learn a trade, son! Now show me dat pimp hand!"