When I look in the mirror, I can't believe what I see
Tell me, who's that funky dude, staring back at me?
Broken, beaten down can't even get around
Without an old-man cane, I fall and hit the ground
Shivering in the cold, I'm bitter and alone

Excuse the bitchin', I shouldn't complain
I should have no feeling, 'cause feeling is pain
As everything I need, is denied me
And everything i want, is taken away from me
But who do I got to blame? Nobody but me

...And I don't wanna be an old man anymore
It's been a year or two since I was out on the floor
Shakin' booty, makin' sweet love all the night
It's time I got back to the Good Life
It's time i got back, it's time i got back
And I don't even know how I got off the track
I wanna go back... Yeah!

Screw this crap, I've had it! I ain't no Mr. Cool
I'm a pig, I'm a dog, so 'scuse me if I drool
I ain't gonna hurt nobody, ain't gonna 'cause a scene
I just need to admit that I want sugar in my tea
Hear me? Hear me? I want sugar in my tea!
- Weezer, "The Good Life"

"It's Time I Got Back..."
Dear God. Comic book cover blurbs and Weezer songs. I might hate the 80's but I never really left 1997.

According to the House of Ideas, big changes are looming this fall for our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man:

Aunt May could die (again)! Mary Jane might leave Peter (again)! Doctor Strange will maybe make the world forget that Peter Parker's Spider-Man in an odd rehash of the "Zoom" finale in Flash a few years back (aga- wait -- I guess he's never done that before...)!

But whatever they do, I think I'm going to be jazzed to jizzing. [Clark's Note: This is a new phrase I came up with on a whim that I am now deadset on making a thing. Help me out here, folks. Say it to someone at work.]

Marvel Head Honcho Joe Quesada has remarked that Spider-Man's kind of gotten away from what he used to be about. The vast majority of his supporting cast has dropped off the face of the earth, and Spider-Man's friends used to make the book worth reading. Without them, he's just a bitter old loner wailing on psychopaths in fancy-dress. (Sound like anybody you used to know?) So Marvel's wrapping up J. Michael Stracynski's six year run on Amazing Spider-Man with a four-parter called "One More Day" that may or may not be a bit of what we fledgling professionals call a "soft reboot" of the Spider-Man saga.

Whatever the case, "One More Day" is supposed to restore some of the grandeur and whimsy to the franchise, or at the very least, give Spider-Man his friends back.

I think that's a great idea. Which is why, in my long-running quest to pretend I'm Peter Parker -- to say nothing of my continual shock at the empty shambles my life has become -- I've decided to use this as a excuse to try to rebuild a lot of the relationships I've let fall apart. (And the relationships that I actively destroyed for reasons slightly beyond me. You know. Whatever the case might be.) So I'm going to try to reach out to the people I've failed to reach out to.

And for those of you I have kept in contact with, sorry Charlie, have a nice life. (Ha! No. I kid, I kid.)

Just look out, 'cause "One More Day" is going to be followed by "Brand New Day" with a new creative team, and this is the first preview image Marvel's provided:



I am, of course, in no way responsible for what I feel compelled to do based on this.

With great power comes a great big bang, motherfucker!